The Kripke Conundrum
by LadyWhite21
Summary: Sheldon and Amy are having a pleasant day at the CalTech caf when Kripke decides to give her a special hello. Sheldon goes bat crap crazy and hilarity ensues. NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

I DO NOT OWN BIG BANG, Though I thoroughly adore it!

I hope you enjoy! Please R&R but remember this is all in good fun, no flames please! XD

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><p>It was another day at the Cal Tech Cafeteria, where inspiring scientific minds sought sustenance to nourish their bodies.<p>

Amy Farrah Fowler was joining the boys today. Their biology lab was lending her some samples of a rare and as yet unidentified brain malady reported to be killing people in South Asia. They were having a lovely time (Well, at least Sheldon and Amy where. Leonard, Raj and Howard looked distinctly uncomfortable eating next to a possible unknown super bug that destroys human brains.)

Sheldon was in a delightful mood.

He had made excellent progress on some of his own equations, and had had a very lively discussion with Amy about the puzzling symptoms and possible causes of her as unidentified brain disease (the gruesome details of which would make a normal man gag but he saw them as a stimulating challenge.) It was simply fascinating in itself that Amy could get him interesting in anything outside of physics or comic books, but somehow she managed it.

Nope, nothing could bring Sheldon Cooper down today!

...

"Hewwo, Hewwo. Whose this?"

_NO! _Sheldon screamed internally.

Knowing that one of his 61 mortal enemies had just arrived Sheldon begrudgingly turned his head to acknowledge the subpar mind standing before them, being sure at the same time to affix an unfriendly expression on his face.

Amy turned to greet the stranger; she figured it was another one of Sheldon's many friends. (He impressed her so!)

"Hello. I'm Amy Farrah Fowler. I'm here to visit your biology department."

She extended her hand politely for a handshake (Something Penny had taught her to do.)

A dangerous glint appeared in Kripe's eye.

"The pweasure is all mine." He said in a sickly oily voice as he lifted her hand and kissed it!

"EH EPP EH!"

Everyone jumped! Sheldon looked like a wide eye wildebeest and his three colleagues had their eyebrows raised as well.

"Excuse me, but in what Universe is it socially acceptable to put your filthy mouth on someone else's girlfriend?" Sheldon practically yelled.

"My bawd." Kripe said with a minute amount of genuine remorse, "is this Leonard's giwlfwiend?"

"NO!"

"Indian boy?"

"Yeah right," Sheldon said sarcastically.

"The wittle weasely one's?"

"No, he's engaged."

"Well then if her boyfriend's not here what the hewl do you cawre?"

By this point Amy had pulled her hand away a bit disturbed by the violation, but now she was starring wide eyed at Sheldon. So were the other guys at the table. He hadn't had to explain their relationship to anybody else before. How would he handle it?

Sheldon felt all eyes on him. This was a distinctly uncomfortable situation. But, he reminded himself that part of why he entered into this relationship in the first place was to keep other people's body parts away from Amy Farrah Fowler. There was no shame in stating a fact. He composed himself and said flatly, "I'm her boyfriend."

…Pause…

Kripke looked around the table… Howard, Leonard and Raj nodded their heads.

He looked back at Amy…

Looked back at Sheldon…

Looked back at Amy…

Looked back at Sheldon… and then…

"BWHAHAHAHAHA!"

Kripe fell to the floor rolling around in hysterics while pointing at Sheldon and clutching his stomach.

"Well I don't see what's so funny." Sheldon huffed.

"Oh, that's a wiot" He said wiping a tear away and pulling himself off the ground.

"Fine captain womance, let me ask you a question. Have you done it yet?"

"Of course not!" Sheldon yelled before he could stop himself.

"Do you kiss, hold hands, feewl each other up?"

Sheldon opened his mouth to answer. Closed it. Opened it again. Closed it again.

"That's none of your business."

"That's what I thought. That means you'we not weally boyfwiend and girwlfwiend, which means I can do this."

He promptly picked up Amy's other hand and kissed that one too.

A flabbergasted Sheldon stuttered in anger "Now see here!"

"Come on Kripke" Leonard jumped in to diffuse the situation. "That's crossing the line."

Kripke laughed it off. "My bawd. I'll catch you wosers later." He left, but not before giving Amy a parting sex predator wink. "See you around, Amy Fawwah Fowlew"

"God, he sure can be a jerk when he wants to be." Said Leonard.

"Yeah, even for Kripke that was low." Chimed in Howard.

"I know he thinks he's charming but I can see how a woman would feel violated when he winks like that. It's just like how Howard used to undress me with his eyes."

Howard sputters and Leonard gave him an accusatory look.

"That was certainly uncalled for, " added a shaky Amy as she wiped her hands with a napkin. "I'll have to make it more clear next time that such sexual advances are unwanted and futile… right Sheldon? Uh, Sheldon?"

All eyes slowly turn to look Sheldon, who by now was a quietly vibrating, 160lb ball of fury!

"HANDS!"

Everyone jumps ten feet in the air.

"What?" asks Amy weakly.

"Give me your hands!" He yells.

She was shocked and confused. Amy started to raise her hands but it wasn't fast enough for Sheldon.

"Oh here!"

Sheldon grabbed her hands and placed them on his lap.

Before Amy has had time to be too shocked or embarrassed (or excited) he whipped out a bottle of disinfectant and started dousing both of her hands.

"What…" she started.

Then, in what is probably more physical contact than he's made in the last 10 years combined, Sheldon started furiously rubbing the anti-bacterial gel over her hands. His colleagues looked on with extreme curiosity while Amy let loose a little "Hoo!"

"Oh Lord, Oh Lord." Sheldon keeps repeating in a high pitched, desperate voice paying absolutely no attention to the sound she just made.

"Sheldon, what are you doing?" Amy said as she finally got her wits about her.

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Going bat crap crazy?" Leonard offered. Howard and Raj chuckled but Sheldon paid them no mind.

"Oh Lord this is not going to be enough! Come on!"

"Where are we going?"

"Just come on, hurry!"

He promptly grabbed Amy Farrah Fowler by the sleeve and dragged her from the cafeteria.

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><p>5 Minutes Later—<p>

The guys had tailed Sheldon and Amy down the hall to see just what was happening.

"This is too good to miss!" whispered Howard.

"I hope he challenges Kripe to a duel!" added a giddy Raj.

"Shh," sounded Leonard as they spotted the odd couple around the corner.

They arrived just in time to hear an exasperated Amy Farrah Fowler yell, "For the final time Sheldon you are not going into the Ladies room with me. I can wash my hands on my own!"

"Wow." Leonard whispers to the others.

"Frankly, I don't understand why you are so upset. It's my hands that were violated, not yours."

"Your hands are as good as my hands!" Sheldon blurted out angrily.

A wide eyed Amy was halted in her tracks.

"Explain."

Sheldon paused for a moment.

"You and I are legally bound by the relationship agreement," he reasoned carefully, now slightly embarrassed by his outburst.

"And as such we have become a single, legally associate entity. This means that Kripke kissing your hand is as good as him kissing my hand and trust me, if he had put his filthy orifice on my hands we'd be on the way to the laser lab to lop off the offending limbs. But, seeing as I can't dismember you I am going to sanitize those hands myself until I am satisfied!" He ended heatedly!

Amy blinked.

Sheldon caught his breath after his fiery declaration.

They starred at each other for a good 5 seconds.

The guys held their breath from their hiding place around the corner.

Amy looked Sheldon squared in the eye. A sudden warmth filled her up everywhere and her ears started to burn. No one had ever said anything like that to her before!

He starred nervously back until finally she broke the silence.

"That's so romantic."

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"Of course it is, now let's go!" Sheldon grabbed her sleeve again and dragged a no longer protesting Amy into the Ladies room.

"Well, what do you know," Leonard said as they emerged from their hiding place. "I never knew he had it in him. I… wait a minute. Raj are you crying?"

Raj wiped away a tear. "Come on Dude! Coming from Sheldon, that was like watching Casa Blanca!"

"Come on Buttercup let's go," said an exasperated Howard as the three turned to leave.

"You're so unromantic," Raj whined. "And, you're definitely not my Wesley."

Leonard and Howard sighed tiredly as they walked a protesting Raj back up to the labs.

This had certainly been an enlightening experience.

Little did they know this hand kissing episode was still far from over.

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><p>Thank you for the wonderful reviews so far!<p>

I plan to update very soon. & Boy, oh boy are you guys going to love what's coming up, muahahaha XP *evil happy grin*


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much for your kind reviews!

I want this story to read as much like an episode as possible and I don't want to assume I know everything going on inside Sheldon's brain (I'm not that smart lol)

Also, I got the idea because I heard a rumor that Kripke would be reappearing in a future episode and is made me smile with all kinds of evil possibilities, muahaha XD

I hope you like the rest! Please R&R

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><p>It had been two days since "the incident". It was a quiet, dizzily Saturday in the apartment.<p>

Leonard sat typing up some notes on his computer while Sheldon sat in his spot, his chin resting on his hand and his gaze distant.

He just couldn't seem to concentrate on anything this morning. That in itself was extremely disconcerting. What was absolutely maddening was the fact that he couldn't quite pinpoint why!

"Mnnnnn," he whined with the same discomforted expression he usually reserved for when something was wrong with his spot and he was forced to sit somewhere unsatisfactory.

"Mnnnnn," he moaned again more loudly.

Leonard slapped his hands on his desk in frustration. Sheldon had been at this all morning.

"Sheldon, just tell me what's wrong already, you're driving me nuts!"

No reply from the couch.

"Is it because one of the University board members walked in on you and Amy in the bathroom and they made you take that sexual harassment class? Because I already told you: A. That's what you get for going into the ladies room and B. At least you didn't get fired…again."

"No, that's not it Leonard," He answered weakly. "There is something impeding my mental faculties. What is this Leonard? Is this what being a stupid person is like?" He whispered dramatically.

"No, it's normal to feel that way sometimes."

"Heh, maybe for you," Sheldon chuckled darkly.

"Damn it Sheldon!"

Leonard stopped to compose himself.

"Why don't you just admit that what Kripke did to Amy the other day is still bothering you."

"Hardly," Sheldon whispered unconvincingly, looking down at his feet.

Leonard sighed and turned around. Silence fell between them for about 20 seconds before…

"Mnnnnnnn."

BAM! Leonard let his head drop on the desk with a thud. This was going to be a long day.

Mercifully the phone chose just then to start ringing. Sheldon reached slowly for the receiver and brought it up to his ear.

"Ahoy," He answered with the haunted voice of a sailor lost at sea.

"Oh, Amy." His voice perked up immediately.

"Hello. Oh, I See." His voice dropped an octave and a half smile turned into one of confusion.

"No, I didn't send you flowers. Oh, I see. Well, thank you for informing me. Very well. Good day."

He hung the receiver back in its place.

By this point a very concerned Leonard had turned back around and was nervously eyeing his roommate and best friend.

"Oh boy, Sheldon are you ok?"

He was met by a catatonic stare. Leonard got up and moved over to the chair next to his soon-to-going-psychotic friend.

"Did Kripke send Amy flowers?"

At that comment nervous ticks started to ravage Sheldon's face. His listless eyes were burning with anger!

_Oh boy, he's broken. _Leonard thought.

"Hey, buddy?" He reached out to touch him but..

"GEH!" Sheldon lept to his feet in an instant! He whipped open to apartment door and ran into the hallway. The next second Leonard could hear his high pitched ritualistic banging.

Knock, knock, knock, "Penny!"

Knock, knock, knock, "Penny!"

Knock, knock, knock, "Penny!"

Penny answered the door while wrapping her pink robe around herself. She looked a bit confused by how desperate he sounded.

"What's the matter Sheldon?"

"Good morning Penny. Do you know how to dispose of a body?"

"I, Wha… What?"

"I'm sure at some point in your back woods, meth town upbringing you've had to get rid of a human body."

She was really worried now.

"Ok, slow down honey. I'm not going to help you kill somebody."

"Not kill, just hide the body! You really need to listen more closely."

Penny paused, blinked a few times and took a deep breath.

"Ok, sweety I need you to stop being insane for a minute and tell me what's wrong. Come in."

Sheldon marched over to his couch and plopped down in the corner seat.

"It's Kripke Penny. He… he… he!" But whatever "he" was Penny didn't hear it. Sheldon's face started twitching again.

"Sheldon don't overload on me. I don't know how to reboot you." She smiled at her own joke and Sheldon gave her a scathing look. But she knew deep down he always appreciated it when she compared him to a computer so he calmed down a bit.

"I take it you heard about the _incident _the other day?"

"Oh, the getting caught in the bathroom thing? Yeah, Leonard told me. That was hilarious," she laughed richly!

Sheldon gave her his most disapproving stare.

She quickly apologized and tried to hide her smile when she saw the look on his face.

"Not quite that; what predated and spurred that event," he continued.

"Oh right, that mean guy at work kissed Amy on the hand. But sweety, sometimes people do that in a friendly way to say hello."

"Yes," he scoffed sarcastically (he was getting so much better at it). "What a friendly way to spread your pathogens while simultaneously violating the sanctity of someone's relationship agreement."

"Sheldon, so that's what this is all about!"

"Penny, while it is fascinating to observe to glacial speed at which you process information and reach your conclusions, rather than continuing to restate the obvious, why don't I just tell you about my current dilemma?"

Penny blinked, bit her lip in a semi-smile. She chanted to herself, d_on't kill him, don't kill him, dont't kill. She_ nodded letting him know to keep going.

"Kripke has sent a bouquet of flowers to Amy making clear his intention to pursue her romantically until we prove our relationship to him."

"Wow, that's mean."

Sheldon sighed. He didn't even have the pluck to tell Penny that she was stating the obvious again. He just looked down at his feet and replied "Indeed," In a sad voice.

Penny thought for a few seconds. This was definitely a new kind of situation for the brilliant Dr. Cooper. There weren't any instructions on how to handle this kind of situation in his manual. Heck, she still could believe he had admitted his feelings and asked Amy to be his girlfriend. He had all these feelings just bottled up in there but didn't know how to deal with them. It was simply amazing! Maybe he was a real human being after all.

"I think I'll have to let her go."

_Or maybe not… _Penny thoughts came to a crashing halt.

"Wait a minute. Sheldon, you can't just give up. Are you really going to hand Amy over to that bully?"

No response. Penny decided to go with a different approach.

"Honey, come on! What kind of super hero are you? You can't let the girl get away."

"Super heroes are notoriously incompetent when it comes to women," he deadpanned. "Spiderman, Superman, Hellboy, take your pick, it never ends well."

"…maybe she'd be happier," he said barely above a whisper.

"What?"

He didn't repeat himself but Penny had a good idea of what he said.

"Sweety this isn't like you. If it's one thing I know about Amy it's that you make her happy…somehow." She made a creeped out face. "Just talk to her."

"I'm not a hippie."

"Damn it Sheldon! Are you going to lose to that guy? Don't you remember how you got rid of that comic book guy Stuart? You can do it again! Girls think that's really romantic!"

That finally sparked something inside of him!

Sheldon looked up like he was seeing the whole world anew! The wheels were definitely turning! He stood straight up with a contented look on his face.

"Thank you Penny, this has been helpful."

He promptly walked to the door and exited into the hallway.

Penny stood confused in her living room. She was genuinely worried about him but maybe he really had found a solution that worked for him. Another worried look passed her face. She walked to the door, whipped it open and yelled, "Killing people is not romantic Sheldon!"

Boy she hoped this would end well.

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><p>Next chapter is the end!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Here you guys go! Sorry for the wait.

I really hope you like it because I know it makes me smile :) I'll try to find time to write more Shamy in the future for sure. ENJOY! R&R

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><p>Amy paced nervously back and forth in her apartment. Her jean skirt flapped back and forth, she crossed her arms over her brown and pink stripped cardigan (a flowery collared shirt and solid dark pink shirt peaked out from underneath.)<p>

This was certainly a less than ideal situation. She could also tell by the tone in Sheldon's voice (or lack thereof) that he was not likely taking the news very well.

_How should I proceed?_ She thought. There was certainly no event that she had experienced socially in all her years of life that could even remotely help her decide what to do next. Sure, she had seen this happen to other girls… but she never thought that she, Amy Farrah Fowler, would ever have two boys simultaneously vying for her affection. She blushed at the thought. Sheldon and his friends had opened her up to such an exciting new world! She never knew what she was missing out on…

But, there was no time to muse about that. She needed a solution. This Kripke character couldn't hold a candle to her brilliant and drop dead hunky current boyfriend (Oh Amy.) Fortunately, she had a super popular bosomy best friend who just might be able to help.

Amy picked up the phone and dialed Penny.

"Hello Bestie!" She called as Penny picked up the phone.

"Oh Amy is that you? Listen, Sheldon left here a little while ago and he's kind of upset."

"I see," answered Amy. "Then I take it you heard about our dilemma."

"Yes… unfortunately. Listen Amy, you really need to talk to Sheldon. I'm sort of worried about what he's planning."

"Planning? What do you mean? And, what should I do? I've never been in this situation before. As a female Adonis I'm certain you've had to successfully rebuff the advances of many a male suitor."

"Uh… yeah. Look, just make it clear that you don't like that creep. And for the love of God make sure Sheldon doesn't kill anyone. Just check his pockets for poison or something, okay? Promise?"

"I promise," Amy said smiling and feeling a bit more reassured.

Just then came that oh so familiar, rhythmic knocking at her door.

Knock, knock, knock. Amy?

Knock, knock, knock. Amy?

Knock, knock, knock. Amy?

"I'm sorry Penny, Sheldon is here. I'll inform you of how things proceed." Amy hung up the phone and walked over to answer the door.

She opened it a find a sullen looking physicist dressed in his khaki bus pants and holding two parcels under his arm. He was wearing the same blue batman t-shirt he had worn when they first signed the relationship agreement.

"Hello Sheldon."

"Hello." He replied dully.

_This is bad,_ Amy thinks. "Please, come in," she said, ushering her boyfriend into her apartment.

Sheldon entered, his head hanging low. He took a few steps into the living room before something caught his eye and stopped him in his tracks. He spotted a pot of paisley flowers sitting haughtily (he thought) on Amy's coffee table. Before he could stop himself Sheldon walked up to the flowers, snatched them from their spot and flung them into the garbage can next to Amy's desk.

Amy was shocked at his surprisingly violent actions against the helpless potted plant. "Sheldon, what are you doing?"

He spun around and in his calmest, most reasoned voice replied, "Amy the flowers you received are a potential menace lying in wait. The innumerable insects, pollens and pathogens that trinket could be carrying are imperiling your health and I don't feel comfortable with them remaining in your apartment."

Amy felt genuinely touched. She brought her hand up to her heart as they starred at each other for a few moments. "Sheldon, while I deeply appreciate the sentiment, those flowers were mine. The offending flowers I received this morning are sitting in the kitchen."

…

"Oh," came his high pitched reply. "My bad."

This was certainly a bit embarrassing, but there wasn't time to dwell upon his mistake. Sheldon made his way into the kitchen where he laid eyes on a sickly, gaudy arrangement of red and pink roses with pink plastic hearts sticking out between the buds.

He snatched the bouquet from a pitcher of water in the sink, opened up her kitchen window and promptly flung them into the wind.

"Sheldon!"

Ignoring Amy's concern (because he felt sooo much better now) he proceeded to explain the purpose for his arrival.

"Amy, I would like you to accompany me to the University so that we can end this nonsense. But first I want you to accept this." He held out a plainly wrapped, thin rectangular object in dark blue tissue paper.

"A gift?" Sheldon nodded, his face unreadable.

She was at a total loss for words. She wasn't certain how the current situation warranted a gift but she gingerly accepted the parcel anyways. Hesitantly, she peeled away the paper.

There in her hands was a laminated and framed copy of the cover of Neuron magazine featuring her noted study. My stars! It was almost as precious and amazing as the tiara!

Amy felt her knees get weak as her hand flew to her mouth to cover her shock. She wanted nothing more than to run up and kiss him again! But, she refrained - after the tiara incident she had been forced to take a refresher course on the stipulations of the relationship agreement - even though she suspected that Sheldon had truly enjoyed that event considering the gentle but firm way her had hugged her back…

"Sheldon… why?" She started. He met her eye and waved away the comment.

"I trust this trumps any ill attempted effort at flattery that lesser minds with no knowledge of you might have tried."

She nodded her head, her tummy still woozy with containing the butterflies.

"Very well then let's be off."

"Wait!" She said catching herself. "What do you have planned? What's that other packet in your hand?"

"A certified copy of the relationship agreement for Kripke to suck it."

Amy smiled, she loved it when his macho side bled through his normally polite way of speaking.

As Sheldon turned to walk towards the door Amy suddenly remembered the promise she had made to Penny just a few minutes earlier. _Might as well check now._She thought.

Without a second thought Amy walked up behind her tall, lanky, unsuspecting boyfriend and plunged both her hands into his pants pockets.

A girlish shriek could be heard all throughout the building.

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><p>By the time Amy parked her car at the University the color in Sheldon's cheeks was just returning to normal. He certainly could not have fathomed that he would have had Amy's hands groping around his pants this morning. He had felt her fingers against his upper thighs and digging around dangerously close to some other vital regions.<p>

It didn't last long. Within a few seconds she had removed her hands and explained to a flustered and beet-red Sheldon that she was simply following Penny's instructions to ensue he was not carrying poison intended for Kripke.

Even so the event had illicit a new found emotion that Sheldon was struggling to place. But, that would have to wait. There were more pressing matters to deal with at hand as the couple walked into the University and up to the cafeteria entrance.

"Are you sure about this Sheldon?" Amy asked as they approached the double doors.

He reassured her with a confident nod. This ridiculous distraction needed to be dealt with swiftly. Neither of their minds should have to waste another infitensimal unit of mental energy on this.

Sheldon texted Kripke to meet him at the appointed time. He also asked Leonard to come and serve as a character witness (and body guard.)

The scene was set.

As they entered, Kripke was standing at one end of the room - Shledon, Amy and Leonard at the other. The two dorky men walked towards each other like cowboys in a standoff at the OK corral.

The other scientists in the caf looked on with annoyance and tried to finish their food as quickly as possible.

The two men squared off in the center and stared each other down.

"Kripke." Sheldon said.

"Woser."

Sheldon gaped, did a quick double take and gave his enemy an angry glare. What a dastardly devil he was.

"I believe you'll find everything necessary right here." Sheldon said as he handed him to certified copy of the relationship agreement.

Kripke took the document and started paging through it. Sheldon's face fell as Kripke stated laughing out at what he was reading. After a minute he flung it to the ground and crossed his arms.

"A pwetty girl like that can't possibwy be with weirdo who won't even hold hands. I'm not going to bewieve anything until I see a kiss."

Everyone gasped.

Sheldon's perfect heroic plan was crumbling around him! He certainly didn't anticipate Kripke being so stubborn and his comment had truly stung. Oh, why was he such a meany head?

While Sheldon opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, Leonard decided this was the best time for him to jump in.

"Come on Kripke, you need to stop teasing him."

"Sheldon, a word." Amy said as she pulled her stunned boyfriend outside the caf doors, leaving Leonard and Kripke to a tussle of words.

"Sheldon we don't have to prove anything to him," she said once they were out of earshot. "You can't give in to your nemesis. If he knows that he's gotten to you, then he wins."

"What about you?" Sheldon said.

"Huh?"

The lanky physicist had a thoughtful look on his face. He kept going without meeting her eye.

"Has he gotten to you?"

"I don't understand."

"Has he wooed you away from me? Do you want a physical relationship with him?"

Amy was dumbfounded. Sheldon was acting insecure? How ridiculous!

"Sheldon I am with you. I read the relationship agreement and signed it. I have no interest in lesser minds. Especially not one who's a big creepy bully like that one. And if I am going to have a physical relationship with someone, I want it to be with you. Now, enough of that. Come on, I'll help you face him."

Sheldon considered her words. His face was blank though now he finally looked her in the eye.

"Am I to understand that you would do carnal things to me if I allowed it?"

"Yes."

"Are you willing to stay with me as my girlfriend even if I don't want all those things?"

"Yes, I am." She answered without hesitation.

"And you'll stand next to me to face Kripke right now as my girlfriend."

"Of course."

"Very well. Let's go."

Sheldon turned and walked away quickly.

Amy blinked a few times puzzeled, but rushed back into the cafeteria behind him.

Leonard and Kripke stopped arguing as the pair reemerged.

"So, what say you Amy Fawwah Fowlew?"

"Oh, I say many things." She was genuinely pissed. "Your immaturity is evident of deep seated insecurity and self loathing…"

Amy began tearing Kripke a new one. Leonard's eyebrows flew up at the harshness of her words. Sheldon, on the other hand was starring at her like he had never truly seen her before. No one had ever been quite this angry on his behalf, or defended him with such verbal eloquence as this before…

"…all evidence points to an unresolved Oedipal complex coupled with…"

But, whatever else he was no one would hear because right at that moment something fell in front of Amy's face. The scent of talcum powder filled her nostrils as she felt a warm, gentle pressure on her lips.

It was over as soon as it began.

The incredibly shocked looks on everyone's faces (like an alien had just crawled out of someone's forehead) confirmed her suspicion. Sheldon had just kissed her in front of everyone!

"I believe that should be sufficient. Good day gentlemen."

And with that Sheldon dragged Amy away by the sleeve leaving desolated expressions in his wake. Oh the therapy some people would need.

She followed him in a daze down the University hallways but finally found her voice and stopped. Sheldon turned to face her.

"Sheldon…why did you do that?"

"To show you my appreciation and reward you for your loyalty and support."

She considered that response... oh the butterflies were back in full force!

"Can we do that again?"

He laughed his high, nasally laugh. "Don't be silly, come along."

Sheldon walked away, a small smile tugging at his lips indicating he was both relieved and amused. A positive aura positively beamed from his lean form and, if possible, there was also a small pep in his step.

Amy couldn't contain her radiant grin. There was certainly hope for them after all.


	4. Chapter 4

Ok, I fully anticipated the last Chapter to be the end, but then a plot bunny made it's home in my brian.

So I present to you wonderful SHAMY readers, the Epilogue :D

*Hehe I must be really tired, not prologue, epilogue.

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><p><strong>EPILOGUE:<strong>

It had been two weeks since the Kripke incident had turned Amy's world a bit topsy turvy. She couldn't say that she didn't delight in the outcome. But, there was just something that continued to nag her at the back of her mind.

Sheldon, Amy and the gang had gone back to their usual routines but, somehow, Amy felt that her boyfriend was being a little more distant than usual - despite that impromptu kiss and his triumphant defeat of Kripke. _Could it be her imagination_? And another thing, it was exceedingly odd for Sheldon to take action like that without subsequently detailing his rational and putting it in writing.

The pair where wrapping up an enjoyable evening of board games in her apartment when Amy decided to bring up this inconsistency.

"Sheldon, a moment."

He had just put his satchel over his head. Sheldon turned around and looked at her.

"Yes?"

"That event two weeks ago. That was a violation of our relationship agreement. While, it was a supremely enjoyable divergence, I thought that you would feel uncomfortable with action not stipulated in our relationship agreement. Rather, if such an event were to happen again I propose that we update the kissing section of the agreement."

He sighed.

"I was hoping you would overlook this, but how could I expect any less from a mind as keen as yours."

Sheldon pulled out several documents that he had in his bag.

"What's this?"

"The first amendment to the relationship agreement."

Amy gasped!

"Have you been carrying this all this time?" She couldn't believe it! Had he been too nervous to present this to her up until now?

Sheldon made a noncommittal noise in his throat and did not answer her question.

Amy read through the 3 page amendment.

It allowed for "the boyfriend" to decide when non-previously stimpulated physical contact was warranted. It also allowed for "the girlfriend" to petition for exemptions to the agreement but, that "the boyfriend" would ultimately have the final power of approval and veto. "The girlfriend" also had the right to file formal protests to his decisions, which would be decided in a series of committee hearings.

All appeared in order. Amy hurridly signed the document and Sheldon notarized it. He then slipped it into the original Relationship Agreement document.

As Sheldon put the documents safely back in his satchel Amy extended her hand, offering him a handshake to seal the deal.

Sheldon stood up straight and looked wearily at her hand at first. But then he accepted it.

Amy smiled as they shook.

…

But, then he doesn't let go.

On the contrary he grabs her other hand as well.

Amy looked confusedly up at him. "Sheldon…"

Suddenly she was looking straight into his laser blue gaze, the full weight of his attention upon her. It was the type of piercing look that made her feel like he was gazing into her mind and seeing the real her. It was making her internal temperature sky rocket, her face flush, her heart beat quicken… what fascinating symptoms from such a simple gesture!

He brought both her hands up to just below his chin. With her hands between them, his baby blues never let go of her coffee ones.

Amy began experiencing further symptoms including raspy, uncontrolled breathing, and a feeling nervous excitement that pooled in her belly. But she wouldn't let go of his stare. No, neither of them would let go…

Then all of a sudden it happened. Sheldon planted a firm kiss on each hand, the feel of his soft lips extraordinarily vivid to Amy's keen senses.

The next moment he dropped her hands.

"That should be sufficient. My superior microbes should take care of the rest."

Sheldon began to contentedly clean up and prepare to leave as though nothing had happened.

…

Amy's brain came back online.

_Wait a minute..._

Then she remembered how to breath.

"Sheldon, do you STILL think my hands are dirty from Kripke?"

He stood up straight, a guilty but satisfied look on his face.

"It's been driving me nuts!"

Gaping, she doesn't know whether to kill him or kiss him.

A small amused semi-smile graced his face.

"Well, good night."

And he was gone. She couldn't believe it. She absolutely couldn't believe it.

Sigh.

_Well that explains why he felt a bit distant._

But she knew, while true, it was also a convenient excuse to advance their relationship yet again.

"Hoo."

Amy turned out the lights, retrieved her electric toothbrush Gerard and turned into her bedroom.

She had some stress relief to take care of.


End file.
